Throwing In The Towel: Too Beat Up To Continue

And so it began: A move to Wyoming, a decision to make Oregon Trail dolls with a gimmick to match each one. For Roy Caldwell a journal, a collection of letters for Sarah Margaret Lovelace, and a novella for Wahniki Wanshee Umatah. 

Shortly thereafter, I met Opal Whiteley in a book and in a conscious vision. 

                     Opal Whiteley

My cousin Dottie and my sister Martha Kaye encouraged me to chronicle the enchanting and heart wrenching experiences I’d had as a nurse. Because of them and Opal, Child of My Heart, my first novel, exploded from within. 

Elisabeth Collins of Gardenia Press believed in my writing and my story and published it in 2003, shortly before her death and the demise of the press. 

Bob and Elisabeth Collins, founder and president of Gardenia Press

My first book signing, Whilmington, NC 2004

Today, on my 72^nd birthday, 22 years after Roy Caldwell’s first journal entry, I’m throwing in the towel. 

Another author and Facebook friend shares my reasons:

Stephen J. Myers stated last week, “The last few weeks have been a bit of a rollercoaster for me and it is with a heavy heart that I have decided to remove all the books from sale with the exception of The Colour Red. That means they will no longer be available from sites like Amazon or through bookstores.
Considering we have reached hundreds of thousands of readers in different formats it may seem a crazy thing to do but the publishing industry has changed so much I no longer have the same enthusiasm for writing and illustrating when the majority of my time is now geared towards marketing. I always said once I stopped enjoying it I would stop and that day has come."

He continued, "Now there is a positive note . As I have never written to make money, the books will be placed on selected free sites where they can be downloaded for free permanently and signed copies of the books will still be available from my website."

So, I'll leave you now with a short story. Thank you for your encouragement and support over the years. Thank you to everyone who beta-read and edited my books, to everyone who bought my books, to everyone who read at least one, and to everyone who wrote a review. I am eternally grateful.

SAILOR BOYS © Shelia Bolt Rudesill

    “Come on, Franny, all the boys will be taken by the time we get there.” Patsy Mitchell tossed an alligator handbag over her shoulder and held the front door ajar.
    “Isn’t this lipstick too red for me? I feel like a prostitute.” Franny frowned at her reflection in the mirror over the hat rack.
    “You look great, now hurry up. These boys haven’t been off that boat since before the war ended. One look at you and they’ll be drooling all over you.”
    “I’m not so sure I want to be drooled over.” Franny took one last glance into the mirror to adjust the feather in her hat and frowned. “Maybe I don’t want a lovesick sailor.”
    “Why not?”
    Franny huffed then moved her tongue over her lips.
    “Don’t lick that lipstick off. Honestly, Franny, how are you ever going to find a boy? Let’s go, let’s kiss a hundred lonely sailors before midnight.”

    The USS Drayton had pulled into New York Harbor on September 12, 1945 after more than three years in the South China Sea. She’d been bombed and set aflame more than a few times. Patsy knew that a fair amount of the boys would not only be single but alone and lonely and celebrating their homecoming at a favorite Brooklyn club, Harbor Lights.

    “Look for boys standing in groups. They’re the ones who want to get kissed.” Patsy took hold of Franny’s upper arm and pulled her through the throngs of people already gathered in the neon-lit dance bar. When they made their way to the bar, Patsy ordered two Esquire Cocktails—three parts dry vermouth and one part gin.
    “Look at those dreamy boys at the edge of the dance floor. I think they’re looking for gals like us.” Patsy made her way through the crowd and kissed at least three sailors while Franny stood back and sipped her cocktail. “Welcome home, boys!” Patsy laughed and kissed two more sailors smack on the lips before stopping to brush her spilled gin from one sailor’s starched uniform.
    The sailor pulled Patsy into a passionate embrace and covered her mouth with his. When they came up for air he said, “You can spill all the gin you want on this uniform. As of,” he paused to look at his watch, “fourteen minutes ago I’m a civilian.”
    “So I can’t call you, sailor?” Patsy asked still nuzzled against his chest.
    “You can call me Jack. Jack Anderson.” He kissed her again.
    When one of the other sailors turned to Franny, she felt an urgent attraction that caused her breath to hitch.
    “Name’s Leo. I’m a civilian now, too.”
    Franny’s hand began to shake when Leo reached out to her. She set the glass on a nearby table as Leo pulled her into his arms and held her as if he never intended to let her go. “And you are?”
    “Franny.”
    “You look Irish. I was expecting an Erin or Shannon.” He grinned.
    “It’s Francis Clare Sullivan. We lost the O at Ellis Island in 1904.”
    “Yer a beautiful, lass, Miss O’Sullivan with those strawberry curls and eyes the color of Ireland herself.” He spoke with a broken Irish brogue.
    Their eyes locked and he pulled her closer. His kiss was different from any of the other few kisses she’d experienced. Sweet, yet strong—like something she could melt into. Delicious, that was what it was, and full of starvation. He smiled and it embarrassed her. He turned to the group of sailors.
    “Hey, Jack. Look what I found.”
    Jack had been oblivious to anyone other than Patsy. His hands roamed her body and caressed her curves. They kissed deep and long as he pushed hard against her and she pushed back harder. He glanced at Leo with one eye, then pulled his mouth away from Patsy’s. “Well, buddy, looks like we both scored.” Jack looked back at Patsy. “Is she your friend?”
    “Yes.” Patsy adjusted her earrings and swung her long black hair over one shoulder. “We’re roommates. I’m Patsy Cleveland and this is Franny Sullivan.”
    “Roommates, huh?” Jack slapped his friend’s back. “This is my buddy, Leo Jenkins and I’m Jack Albertson.
    “Nice to meet you.” Franny smiled, feeling the butterflies ease their fluttering.
    “We’re two lonely boys who’ve been away from the finer things of life far too long.” Jack pouted as he tipped his hat. He stood tall with piercing dark eyes and hair shaved so short that it was impossible to discern the color. “Would you beautiful dames care to share a little wine and candlelight?”
    “We’d love to.” Patsy answered for both. “You buy the wine and we’ll supply the candles. Our apartment isn’t much, but it has a view of the Brooklyn Bridge.

    The sun hadn’t begun to set when Jack opened the second bottle of wine. He poured the glasses full but before Patsy could take a sip he pulled her from her chair and onto his lap, unzipped the back of her dress and reached inside.
    Franny blushed and looked away.
    “Are you all right, Franny?” Leo turned her face to his with the tip of his index finger.
    She whispered to him. “Sometimes she brings boys home after I’m in bed. I just ignore her.”
    “Do you sometimes bring boys home?”
    Franny startled. “No.”
    “Why?”
    “Because I haven’t met the right one, I guess.”
    “Don’t look now, unless you want a peep show.” A sly smile curled Leo’s lips as he watched the half-dressed couple disappear into Patsy’s bedroom.
    The bed squeaked, the couple laughed and moaned.
    “Have a little consideration you heathens,” Leo hollered as he reached out to squeeze Franny’s hand.
    Franny smiled until deep dimples formed on both cheeks and her lips puckered as if she had tasted a grapefruit and a sugar cube at the same time. “I’m sorry about our thin walls.”
    “This is life with Jack. He’s always been bigger than life, if you know what I mean.”
    “Patsy, too. She loves boys…if you know what I mean.
    Leo squirmed in his seat. “So, you don't have someone special?”
    “No.” She smiled shyly and chuckled at the same time. “Do you have someone waiting for you at home?”
    Leo thumped his head. “No, but Jack does.”
    Franny’s eyes grew wide. “He does?” She glanced at Patsy’s closed door.
    “Hey, Jack,” Leo called. “What are you going to do about Oklahoma?”
    “To hell with Oklahoma,” Jack called back. “Patsy and I are getting married in the morning! I’ll send a registered letter.”
    “What does he mean?” Franny gave her full attention to Leo and tried to block out the lustful sounds that had her feeling both highly aroused and uncomfortable.
    “He has a childhood sweetheart back home. Name’s Elsie. They’ve been courting since she was too young to court. Pretty girl. Nice, too. Never knew what she saw in him. She’s a small town girl—wants a hoard of kids and horses. Patsy seems to be the key to his future—an excuse not to go back home. He always wanted out of Oklahoma, always wanted to be a city boy.
    “And you want to be a country boy in Oklahoma?”
    “Guess so. Stuart, Oklahoma to be exact. I want to trade in my sailor’s cap for a Stetson.” Leo smiled the sweetest smile she’d ever seen. His buzz cut was longer than Jack’s and she could see the light brown stubble above his warm honey-colored eyes.
    “A cowboy hat?” Franny wrinkled her nose. “How did two Oklahoma cowboys end up in the Navy?”
    “Cause Stuart’s on the Canadian River and we’re just a couple river rats.” Leo rested his hand on Franny’s. “I love the ranch and I’m one of five kids. Haven’t even met my baby brother. He’s almost a year old already. All the rest are girls. My dad needs me. I’ll inherit it all one day and be a full partner until then. Have you ever been to Oklahoma?”
    Franny giggled. I’ve never been out of New York, except for one trip to Atlantic City.”
    “Then you have to promise to come to Stuart. I’ve never met a sweeter heart than yours. Ma and my sisters will love you, Pa, too.”
    Franny looked at her hands again, and entwined them with Leo’s. "And you don't have a girl waiting there for you?"
    "No, ma'am. Not likely a girl for me within a hundred miles of Stuart."

    Elsie watched as the mailman marched up the sidewalk and turned toward her front door, head down. Her heart stopped and then thumped then stopped again and paused until she swallowed hard. She’d always feared the letter would come, but why now? The Drayton had docked day before yesterday and Jack should be on his way home. Silently, Elsie signed for the letter and glued her eyes to it as the mail carrier turned and walked away. Running a finger across her name on the outside, she hesitated, and then ripped it open. A smile emerged as she read Jack’s words. She rested her hand on her bulging belly and let out a long, almost singing sigh. 

    Eighteen months had been a long time to wait. She’d missed him too much and on a lonely night six months ago she’d let Johnny Wilkerson comfort her. Now, they were man and wife and lived in a little ranch house with crisp white curtains and a horse stable right behind the vegetable garden. At last, unburdened from her guilt, there was nothing to explain now.

   “Congratulations, Jack! Congratulations!” she sang as she ran out the back door and into the pasture to find Johnny.